About The Author Cindy K. Roberts
 or

 Everything I learned in life, I learned from my cross eyed mule.
(Focus, focus, focus.) 

"Rebellious to this day because her parents insisted that she adjust to kindergarten and attend school...Cindy Roberts shows her independence by riding her paint horse and mules with other kindergarten outlaws."

I was dropped on a manure pile at a very young age and raised with wild horses...that  started my obsession with centering my life around cowboy heroes and equine events.  My countless hours in the saddle, watching afternoon episodes of Bonanza and being drawn to flashy denim like Dolly pretty much describes my childhood...that and my lacking in common sense. The other stuff is boring and wouldn’t interest you...so we’ll move on to the day I was rescued by a lawless mule with three 6’s carved on her head, named  Rawhide. We became friends and that is when I learned the divine secret to...the hybrid code.  Teaching me everything I know about mules and the true meaning to life, Rawhide has opened the door to my future and many corral gates for her buddies. During the times we had communication problems, I attended The Meredeth Manor Equine College, worked with clinicians and watched horse training videos.  Rawhide’s teachings gave me a deep understanding of all equines and a profound connection with mules which enabled me to raise and train saddle mules and to film The Behavior & Training Of The Saddle Mule video/DVD (which works on husbands too.) After the film and winning 3 grand  championships, Rawhide‘s stardom increased her popularity along with photo opportunities.  On bad hair days, it is sometimes hard to convince horse owners that just a short time ago Rawhide was a pinup girl with her own poster sales.  Rawhide has her own line of picnic baskets, t-shirts and note cards being marketed and she’s already learned that the competition is getting younger.  Being a centerfold mule does have its ups and downs.

I started showing my ass in 1987 -  when Rawhide’s true career began...she  took 5th place out of 120 horses at the Bridle Spur Hunter Pace.  Rawhide is used to being snubbed...but believes she is due her hard earned celebrity status.   After being slighted by hoity toity show riders, Rawhide decided  taking dressage lessons while riding under the well renowned Grand Prix instructor Frank Grelo, would be the logical thing to do. 

Co-hosting and producing the radio show “Horse Sense” unbridled my desire to learn more about those in the equine industry.  This enabled me to meet equine greats such as Monty Roberts, Pat Parelli and trick horse trainer Carole Fletcher as well as many others. 

To reduce stress in my life, I took a shot at  Cowboy Mounted Shooting...but  the competitive nature of the sport enticed our club members into aggression...which shifted the public dinner meetings into a night time brawl, similar to that seen in a wild west show.  This caused us to be thrown out of the finer restaurants where we held our meetings. Giving up on finding new places to meet and wanting to lower our cholesterol,  we decided to dissolve the club. To this day, there are some members still at large that are forced to be drifters...they stay on the move riding fast horses.  

In 2002, Rawhide pretended she had arthritis and I began looking for another mount.  After several equine purchases and trading horses,  a paint horse named "Cowboy" loped into my life.  Things haven’t been the same since, especially my checking account.  In the meantime, Rawhide developed a recent passion of galloping in the pasture with her new buddies and she has never looked back. 

Cowboy is good by horse standards but he's immature for his age.  He can whip a coyote but he can't stare down the neighbor's dog...so I worked at saving his image and encourage him to live up to his potential by taking him out west. Today, Cowboy's large ego, good looks and debonair style gives him enough confidence for him to believe that some day he will have his own TV talk show.  His delectable taste in  blondes keeps him busy with his social schedule at the barn...so now I must enforce his 9:00 curfew.   

Older, wiser and having a flair for adventure with a fascination for chiggers, I spend time with Cowboy and Rawhide on trail rides in the Bighorn  and Rocky Mountains. When I am bored, I practice voodoo on barn pigeons and torture horse flies to fuel my inner strength. 

I did get the idea to plan Western Weddings.   However, most of my clients major interests are in me offering a mail order bride service on the Internet and honestly, housing 50 immigrant women just doesn't appeal to me. 

My secret life, as an experienced and  proven bartender with a love for baking has enticed me to write my 2nd cookbook The Rhinestone Cowgirl Cookbook.  Filled with recipes  that feature alcohol as the main ingredient, my attorney advised me to put a warning label on the book cover.  Two cookie intoxications and one accidental  fire later, I inserted cautionary notes to my readers along with a liquor/liqueur substitution page and now successful book sales should prove that I am not a complete failure and utter embarrassment to my family and friends. 

(Meet my family.)

The countless emails I receive asking for my advice and expertise on how to work with mules spurred me to publish Answers To Your Mule Questions - A Common Sense Guide To Understanding The Mule's Point of View.  Successful book sales allows Rawhide to afford a new satellite dish - so she can enjoy the Time Warner movie classics of Francis The Talking Mule.  

To help fight winter hysteria, I write amusing articles, watch Dog The Bounty Hunter on TV and test new remedies for dry skin.  

Now, published in several equine publications along with a high fiber diet, keeps me active and moving in different directions. My equine sensory perception tells me I am gifted but my low tolerance for flies and sleepless nights keeps me designing web pages throughout the night. And so... In search of adventure I chase after western stars on and off the prairie to feature in my entertaining articles that offered for publication. 

In need of a dance partner, I thought it was time to find a husband.  Having no luck with eBay, I went to a sale barn and traded for a guy with great athletic conformation, high spirit  and brains.  A simmering cowboy wedding ceremony with a herd of wild horse flies, drunken relatives and cowboy saddle pals to wish us the best is how it all began.  Heat exhaustion persuaded us to cool things down by celebrating our honeymoon in New Orleans.  Hurricane Katrina struck as we were deserted in our hotel room in the French Quarter -  I then realized the haltered one was lacking in ground manners.  Out of estrogen and with Walgreens being boarded up - I decide that now is the time to bust out.  By the grace of God and forcing our will onto a walrus-size liquor salesman with a weak heart and bad breath, we were able to pile into his luxury SUV - while the streets were in disarray.  There were six of us:  Uncle Lou the sweaty liquor salesman was at the wheel,  a new guy named Joe suffering from a work disability, a Sharon Stone-look-a-like liberal, a Canadian lawyer DWI ticket fixer and us the knucklehead newlyweds aka, Perry Mason and The Rhinestone Cowgirl.  Uncle Louie doing 110 m.p.h. down the back roads to get to the Interstate while dodging alligators - at this point, I was focused on keeping myself balanced during all of this excitement, because the group voted that I should take the seat behind Uncle Louie - propped on top of an opened box of Southern Comfort.  This was an unbelievable adventure movie with no popcorn. 

Now, showing my sensitive side I will share this:  I thank my lucky stars that we made it out of a city that  faced horrible destruction from the tropical storm Katrina.  Every person that went through the terrible ordeal has a different story.  I am grateful for mine because my life is very different now - I know that I am one of the lucky ones.  

Thanks for stopping in and putting up with me...I'd love to hear from you,   Cindy K. Roberts